I Always Thought I’d Be There

I used to joke that I was the worst person to have a heart attack around.

Because I’d always be the one running the code.

Chest compressions? That’s muscle memory.

Airway? Locked in.

Defib pads? I could place them in my sleep.

I’ve done CPR on strangers in restaurants.

At gas stations.

On flights.

I’ve cracked ribs and restarted hearts.

I’ve brought people back when everyone else gave up.

I was that medic.The one you wanted on scene.

The one who knew what to do.

And that made me feel safe.

Like I could outrun death just by staying on duty.

Like my skills were enough of a shield.

Like I didn’t need to worry.

Until the day it wasn’t me.

Until the day I went down.

It wasn’t even dramatic.

No sirens. No warning signs.Just a subtle, sinking feeling.

Like the world tilted slightly.

I remember reaching for the kitchen counter.

Then I remember nothing.

There was no medic on scene.

No ambulance parked outside.

No trauma bay ready.

Just my wife.

My daughter.

And the sound of a phone hitting the floor.

They were screaming.

I wasn’t breathing.

And here’s the part that guts me every time I think about it:

They didn’t know what to do.

My wife was frozen.

My daughter was sobbing.

Nobody started compressions.

Not because they didn’t love me.

But because I never taught them how.

I taught generations of EMTs.

I ran CPR refreshers every quarter.

I trained strangers in malls and classrooms.

But I never thought to teach the two people who mattered most.

Because I never imagined they’d need it.

I always thought I’d be there.

That I’d be the one doing the saving.

That I’d never be the one on the floor.

But here’s the brutal truth we never want to say out loud:

One day, it’s going to be you.

And you don’t get to choose who’s standing over you.

So teach them.

Teach the people you love what to do.

Teach them to push hard and fast.

Teach them where to place their hands.

Teach them that seconds matter.

Because when the time comes…

You won’t have a voice.

But maybe, just maybe, you’ll have a chance.

If they know.

__________________________

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